M A N I F E S T O / E T H E R E A L

Are you sick and tired of the art scene's shit?
Are you done with triviality from bad faith bubble bores?
Do you need something new?
You need a Minteu!
Finally, you can purchase Minteu's "$1,000,000": a painting of $1,000,000 selling for $1,000,000!
Now is your chance to own this one-of-a-kind luxury "Investment Painting": a purely commercial endeavor with no airs of transcendence or beauty!
With material art's decline into base market hustling, Minteu's artistic genius is his business genius!
Meanwhile, creative expression is blooming digitally: Innovative visual art no longer takes shape in physical form and space, but in 1s and 0s in the sky.
The muses are now served with software!
Today's bohemian is the world wide web flâneur wasting in his mother's basement; a refined sloth priced out of groupthink bourgeois cities who shuns social interaction for the virtual life of beauty.
Through study of the internet's unprecedented collection of the humanities and a love of porn, memes, gaming and cartoons, these hikkis raised on creative applications have spawned a flourishing artistic movement online!
Trading freely in design, illustration, comics, appropriation, photos, kino, games, graffiti and propaganda, nameless artisans have crafted the myriad fleeting cave paintings of this ephemeral era!
This is the future, and it's only getting more sophisticated!
The most vital and historically significant art currently being made cannot be obtained or displayed in physical form, and if you tried, you'd be a poser!
With a cultural gold mine at hand for free, contemporary exhibitors and dealers are as passé as the inflated products they peddle!
So what is the discerning collector of revolutionary new *physical* work to do?
Look no further.
Because of this video, simply paying $1,000,000 for this painting will make it worth at least $1,000,000!
The novelty and sheer absurdity of its purchase will bring instant popularity and confirm the piece's reputation.
This in turn will demand prominence on a flush market with a coming scarcity of groundbreaking tangible art.
Over time, Minteu's brilliance and the painting's artistic importance will make its value skyrocket!
Eventually, you can resell and cash in on your investment many times over or generously donate to a museum!
The transaction is a simple self-fulfilling prophecy! Now, do your part.
Art history distinction is at your fingertips! As the first to patronize Minteu's genius, you're not paying for status; you're purchasing posterity!
But wait, for the low price of $400,000 you can own the Minteu brand logo signed by Minteu!
Hurry, this essential American artifact could already be gone!
Don't be the loser that passed on the next big thing!
You're an aesthete and owe no explanation for your more evolved palate.
So charm your guests!
Dog your rivals!
Impress girls!
You know balls when you see them, now use yours!
Go to minteu.bigcartel.com and put your money to work for you!